The Perpetual Narutositting Mission
by Lucillia
Summary: The marriage contract made with the Uzumaki at Konoha's Founding was supposed to have been a symbolic gesture on the Uchiha's part. Then Itachi got desperate to stop the Massacre, and the Hokage decided to take advantage of the situation in order to get Naruto an Unpaid caretaker who can't quit. The very straight Uchiha Itachi is now stuck as "Mrs. Uzumaki" for the next five years.
1. The Contract

"Where is it? Where is it?" Itachi mumbled as he sorted through the old clan business that the Head of the Clan was obligated to hold on to in perpetuity. He technically shouldn't be in his father's office doing this, but _something_ needed to be done before...

Eventually, he found the scroll that had been passed down from generation to generation under a pile of old tax records from the Nidaime's era. The contract had been more of a symbolic gesture that would have to be fulfilled _someday_. The clan had intended for that "someday" to be either sometime around the Twelfth of Never or in the exceedingly unlikely event that there were only one member of their clan left and only one member of _that_ clan left, whichever came first.

Unfortunately for the clan's plans, Itachi was looking for a lifeline, a way of tying his clan back to the village they'd become separated from, before he was forced to...

Itachi unrolled the document and carefully examined it. Yes, this might do. He likely wouldn't know who the heck he was marrying until the wedding ceremony, and getting a divorce should they prove incompatible would be Hell considering there were Clans involved - even if one of those clans was near extinct - but he was willing to make that sacrifice for both Clan and Village.

"Itachi, what are you doing in my office?" Fugaku asked as he watched his son roll up _that_ contract.

"I-" Itachi started. "The main problem we have with the negotiations with the Hokage is he isn't entirely convinced that we're serious about negotiating, and therefore is willing to listen to those who tell him we should be kept contained. I think I've found a way to convince the Hokage that we're really serious about negotiating and willing to fully join the village rather than remain a separate entity within the village walls."

"Son," his father said almost sadly, "It's -"

"It's not too late!" Itachi said. "We've done nothing but talk yet. We can still stop things before they actually start."

"Fine." Fugaku said. "I don't believe that the clan will go for it after...But, if it's really _that_ important to you, we can try."

The next morning the Uchiha father and son stood before the Hokage. Well, Fugaku stood. Itachi kneelt like the good ANBU he was. The Sandaime's eyebrows rose as he read over the contract made between the founders of the village and an associated clan. Senju Hashirama had thought that it would be too much to ask that the son and heir of a Uchiha Clan Head marry a Senju, so the contract had been for a related clan. Which led to the second purpose of the contract.

Not only would the contract symbolically tie the founding clans of the village together, but it would also tie a closely allied village closer to Konoha as well.

A village that was gone now. Been gone for a couple decades.

"Send for the great-great-grandchild of the man who was Head of the Uzumaki at the time this contract was written." the Sandaime said to an aide after he'd carefully perused the contract and checked that all seals and signatures were genuine.

"Uh," the aide said, a look of utter confusion on her face.

"The individual in question will be at the Academy under the same family name." the Hokage said, clearly being deliberately mysterious and making it clear that he was being such.

Something seemed to dawn on the aide whose eyebrows shot towards her hairline before she said "Oh" and went to follow the Hokage's orders. Fugaku frowned as a possibility presented itself, and he quickly dismissed it.

The Hokage carefully scruitinized the Uchiha who was standing before him, looking for something and either seeing it or not seeing it.

"You would tie your son to a stranger for the sake of peace between your clan and the village?" the Hokage asked.

"It was Itachi's decision." Fugaku replied. "I will support it however."

"I see." the Hokage said after giving Fugaku another searching look.

"Hopefully, Itachi's future bride will be more restrained than Mikoto's _friend_ was." Fugaku said, obviously referring to Uzumaki Kushina, Mikoto's on again off again friend who could stay away for months or even years before randomly turning up out of the blue and tipping his well-ordered home into chaos and disorder back before she'd died.

"Considering the fact that such exuberance is something of an Uzumaki trait, that may very well be far too much to hope." the Hokage said, looking like he was trying hard not to laugh.

"You realize that if a marriage goes unconsumated for over five years, both partners can file for a no-fault divorce with little to no problem in spite of certain Clan allegiances." the Hokage said, a look of amusement edging around lips that were carefully not smiling and glinting in the corners of eyes that were being _Very Serious_.

The relief at being provided an out from this farce, even if it were five years down the line apparently provided Fugaku some relief, considering that some of the tension eased out of his shoulders slightly. Itachi also felt some relief at this as well. While he'd been willing to sacrifice the possibility of ever having a loving marriage, the possibility of freedom after five years should he and his future spouse prove to be incompatible was a relief. Especially in the face of the Hokage's worrying amusement at the situation.

"I must thank my predecessors for the liberality of Konoha's marriage laws." the Hokage said as he, Fugaku, and Itachi waited in somewhat tense silence for Itachi's bride to arrive. "Fulfilling your family's obligation this generation would've been impossible otherwise."

Fugaku's eyes narrowed at this, and Itachi did his best not to swallow an invisible lump in his throat as certain facts regarding the Uzumaki clan that he'd deliberately not been thinking about in his desperation to get this done sprung to mind. Considering when the destruction of Uzushiogakure took place, there were good odds that his bride - who was likely one of the Academy cleaning staff or grounds crew considering the fact that he didn't recall there being an instructor named Uzumaki - was around his father's age. His being a Chunin made him an adult, if only just, as far as certain aspects of the law were concerned. Which was probably why this was going through despite his young age. The Hokage could and had interfered with marriages he considered problematic, and through his interference, something of a minimum age requirement for marriage had been formed. An age requirement he was about three years below.

Eventually, there was a knock on the Hokage's office door, and Itachi's heart rate started going doubletime as he turned to get his first glimpse of the woman he would be married to for at least the next five years, possibly more. The Hokage bade the person on the other side enter, and the door opened.

Rather than there being a middle-aged woman in an Academy maintenance uniform as Itachi had been expecting, Uzumaki Naruto appeared looking very nervous.

Itachi's shoulders slumped imperceptibly. It would seem that his bride wasn't here yet, and that the Uzumaki child had done something that required discipline from the Hokage, and possibly a massive cleanup effort.

"Normally, I don't approve of child marriages " the Hokage said, "But, this time I will be willing to make an exception."

"Child marriage?" the Uzumaki asked, looking confused.

"Come and meet your new spouse Naruto." the Hokage said in an almost gentle tone as he indicated Itachi.

The Uzumaki who, come to think of it, was pretty much the only Uzumaki running around the village, looked up at Itachi in awe for a moment before blushing and saying "You're very pretty Nee-chan!", causing Fugaku's hands to twitch as if the man dearly wanted to wrap them around the boy's throat.

Damn his delicate, almost feminine features!

"You expect my son to go through with...!" Fugaku said, looking like he was just about ready to jump the Hokage and assassinate him on the spot.

"Father, it's fine." Itachi said, laying a reassuring hand on his father's arm which was very tense under the cloth of his KMPF shirt.

"I'm sure you remember what I said earlier." the Hokage reminded the man. Reminded the both of them if that interesting undercurrent in The Professor's tone was warning him of what he thought it was.

Not engaging in... _Relations_ with Naruto for the next five years and change would be the easiest thing in the world. Though his closeness with Shisui had sparked a number of _rumors_ , his interests, what little he'd had of them, had lain with the female sex. Which Naruto - who was younger than his little brother (ugh)- was not. Even thinking about doing _**THAT**_ with Naruto just about made Itachi physically ill.

It was probably no coincidence that the five years that Itachi would have to be married to the boy would cover Naruto's time at the Academy as well as his time as a Genin. Unless the boy was particularly dull that was.

"Fugaku," the Hokage said. "I think we should leave the young...couple to discuss their wedding plans while we have a discussion of our own."

Looking like he wanted to strangle somebody. Possibly even Itachi. Fugaku followed the Hokage out of the room, leaving Itachi and Naruto to sit there in awkward silence.

* * *

 **Omake:**

Sasuke did his best to wipe the tears from his eyes before his father could see and make _that_ face. The wedding had been the most awesome thing ever, and his Aniki had looked so beautiful in their mother's wedding kimono.

Next to him, Shisui was shaking and wiping tears from his eyes and leaning over and acting like his stomach hurt for some reason.

Could it be? Was Shisui-nii jealous of Aniki's new husband? Would there be a dramatic declaration of love during the reception like in that show his mom loved to watch? Would Naruto and Shisui spend weeks fighting over Aniki before Aniki ran off with a Samurai from the Capitol like Kagome had when Shin and her husband Sai had fought over her?

That would be so Awesome!


	2. How's Married Life Treating YOU?

"Hn." Itachi said as he evaluated his and Naruto's new home, which had previously simply been Naruto's apartment. It was obvious that the place was being maintained by a not-quite-eight year-old child.

The wedding, which had taken place that afternoon, had been arranged in a surprisingly short amount of time, considering the fact that it was a wedding between the son of the Head of the Uchiha Clan and the descendant of the Head of the Uzumaki. Apparently, the clan had all taken his father's "Let's get this mess over with as quickly as possible" as an unbreakable order and had everything arranged by lunchtime, including the catering which had been overseen by the Uzumaki who'd been chased by a couple of tailors who'd swiftly taken a number of measurements. Honestly, the only wedding of a member of the Clan Head's family which had been arranged faster had been the Swordpoint wedding of Uchiha Izuna.

His father had been inspecting his formal clothing less than half an hour after they'd departed the Hokage Tower to see if it would be up to par considering it had been months since he'd last worn it, and had grown some since then, when his mother had appeared in the doorway and gave a nervous cough that was so utterly out of character for her that his and his father's Sharingan had reflexively activated.

"What now?" his father grumbled, knowing that nothing good would come from his wife's odd behaviour.

"Well, um, you see, I, I, uh, lost a bet years ago, and there were witnesses who are still alive, who um, might remember, and might _comment_ if I welsh?" Mikoto had said, looking like she'd wanted to avoid the situation entirely.

"What were the stakes?" his father asked resignedly, looking like he was dreading the answer.

"I'm sorry Itachi..." his mother said, looking genuinely sorry as she came over, placed a hand on her elder son's shoulder and started guiding him from his room and to her and his father's bedroom.

Once in there, his mother had gone over to a certain heirloom chest where she pulled out a wedding kimono that had been hers and her mother's before her, and her mother's before her.

"Dear God! You went out drinking with the Uzumaki woman after I told you not to, didn't you!" Fugaku exclaimed. "Even more than seven years dead, she's still wrecking my life!"

An hour and a half later, looking into the mirror once he was dressed and his hair had been done, even he was willing to admit that he looked pretty. Thing was, he didn't want to look pretty on his wedding day. That was the bride's job, and neither of the people taking their wedding vows that day were a bride in any way, shape, or form.

A good number of people gaped when they saw him in his wedding kimono. Especially a number of very important and very hastily invited guests who had somehow managed to show up well dressed and with appropriate gifts despite the short notice. When it came to family and friends, Sasuke had been sobbing the entire time and Shisui spent the entire wedding ceremony in convulsions of silent laughter as tears of mirth flowed from his eyes. He wasn't the only one laughing. One of Itachi's best female friends whom he was well aware had a massive crush on him was also doing her best to not make a sound as an entirely too serious looking Naruto who was dressed in formal men's attire came up to him and took his hand, reminding him of Sasuke when he was trying to conform to the manner in which he thought a Uchiha was supposed to behave.

All too soon, the wedding ceremony which had been presided over by an ancient and wandering Uchiha who had had wandered into some _interesting_ stories that weren't pertinent to the situation at hand, and had to tell the Uzumaki child who was three months younger than Sasuke what to do several times during said ceremony was over. Itachi's humiliation which he constantly had to remind himself he was going through in order to save his clan was not over however. His clan had set up a rather nicely catered reception complete with what was probably the best wedding cake available on such short notice.

Naruto's face when he'd seen the spread had been absolutely priceless, and his comment of "If this is what getting married is like, I should do it more often" had set even some Uchiha to snickering. Sasuke, who had managed to end up in a fight with Naruto near the end of the reception, had looked strangely expectant every time Shisui had approached him throughout the party during which too many people were looking far too amused. Their amusement causing his father and a number of other Uchiha to scowl in a way that worried Itachi, considering the reason he'd decided to go through with marrying Naruto in the first place.

Eventually, it was all over, everyone but the drunks who'd taken the marriage of the Clan Head's Son as an excuse to party the night away, packed it in, and Itachi, who knew that there were many who wouldn't stand for it if Naruto spent even one night in the Uchiha Compound, had gone in, changed, packed a few things, and followed Naruto home to what was now their apartment.

The apartment at first glance, and second glance, and even closer examination, was quite frankly a dump. A big reason it was a dump was that Naruto had been minimally supervised since he'd entered the Academy a few months earlier, and the constant stream of ninja who used to come through and clean up the place at least a little bit and replace the wrecked furniture after Naruto pulled some stupid stunt had dried up to nothing, leaving the small boy to his own inadequate devices.

"So," Naruto said, looking uncharacteristically nervous. "What are we supposed to do now?"

Were those dirty underwear on the kitchen counter?!

"Uh, Nee-chan?" Naruto asked, his usual loudness returning, drawing Itachi out of his observations.

"You, Naruto-kun are going to get ready for bed," Itachi said. "And I'm..."

"I'm going to start cleaning this pigsty." Itachi sighed, part of him inwardly grumbling over the fact that he wasn't going to be paid for this despite the fact that it was obviously a Mid-level D-Rank. A solo mid-level D-Rank.

Naruto headed off into the bathroom presumably to shower while Itachi started getting the kitchen sorted out, doing a preliminary assay of the cupboards. After confirming that the cupboards were indeed stocked about how he'd expect a cash-strapped seven year-old with a ramen obsession to stock them, Itachi worked up the courage to deal with the Dirty! underwear on the kitchen counter, which were apparently awaiting washing as soon as the mud covered shorts in the sink were done soaking.

"I didn't hear a toothbrush" Itachi found himself automatically saying upon hearing the bathroom door open and small feet patter towards the apartment's sole bedroom, instincts born of practically raising Sasuke coming to the fore.

There was a small "Eeep" and the pattering of feet reversed their direction and headed back to the bathroom.

As soon as Itachi had finished fishing the clothes out of the sink and off the counter, dumping them in a laundry pile to be dealt with later, and gotten the counter and the small cooktop cleaned, he started on an inventory of what else needed to be done about the place.

Short answer, Everything.

The cleanest thing in the apartment was the small pyjama clad boy who was curled up on the platform bed in the bedroom rather unconvincingly pretending to sleep. How he'd gotten so clean in such a filthy bathroom, he didn't know.

As he was debating asking Naruto why he wasn't sleeping, there was a rapping on the window which startled him. Looking out, he could understand how he'd been surprised.

"Taicho" Itachi said, mentally debating whether or not it would be prudent to go over to the window and invite his former Captain in. Being aware of who Naruto's mother was, he was consequently familiar with who Naruto's father was. The Yondaime's associates tended to be a mixed bag when it came to their attitudes towards the Uzumaki boy. A good number of them blamed him for the Yondaime's death, since he had sacrificed his life to seal the Kyuubi within the child. It was very possible that Namikaze Minato's former student fell into this category. He had not seen the Hatake go out of his way to interact with the child before, which pointed to there being evidence of this fact.

The Hatake who showed no signs of leaving signed something highly uncomplimentary at him, making it clear that if he didn't allow him entrance, he'd be entering without the permission of the homeowner(s). Showing no outward sign that the signs had bothered him in any way, Itachi smoothly crossed over to the window and opened it enough for his former Captain to enter, a kunai at the ready.

"You know, if you weren't a kid, and I hadn't heard from a reliable source that the marriage was arranged, I'd have some serious questions about your character." the Silver-haired ANBU said when he entered the apartment, giving the place a once over, paying particular attention to Naruto who was making a show of snoring very loudly.

Itachi fought the slight scowl that was trying to form on his face as he noted how intently the Hatake was studying Naruto, as if checking for signs that the "Filthy Uchiha" had tried something. Like, say, turning the Kyuubi loose in the middle of the village. He would NOT turn against his fellow Konoha Shinobi like...

"His mother would be laughing her ass off right about now." the Hatake said after several seconds of silence which had seemed to stretch out into an eternity.

From what Itachi could remember of the barely remembered red-haired woman he'd encountered maybe a couple times in his life, the woman whose death his mother had almost quietly mourned following the Kyuubi attack as they had gone to see the still squalling Naruto in the hospital, Kakashi's assessment appeared to be correct.

"Yes, she would." Itachi replied, startling his former Captain.

"So, how's married life treating you?" the Hatake - who'd been quick to recover - asked casually, an amused tone creeping into his voice.

"The people who decided to teach Naruto how to be independent seem to have forgotten to show him the basics before they departed." Itachi said. "I had to clear laundry out of the kitchen sink, and that's just the start of it."

"I see..." the Hatake said, an amused look in his visible eye. "Well, seeing as I owe the two of you a wedding present, I may as well front a mission to get this place cleaned at least once."

"Thank you Taicho." Itachi said, and meant it. Really, he did. The prospect of cleaning the place had been daunting to say the least.


	3. The Old Man and the Nag

"Do I have to?" Naruto asked when his new spouse that strangely nobody was calling his wife asked him to get up since he had to get ready for school. "We're supposed to be on our honeymoon! There's no school during a honeymoon!"

"That's because most people who get married these days are all grown up and don't have school." Naruto's pretty spouse whose name he forgot and whom he was mentally calling Mrs. Uzumaki said. "School unfortunately stops for no child until they graduate."

"So," Naruto asked, "Why aren't you going to school?"

"I've already graduated." Mrs. Uzumaki said as he pulled the blankets off of Naruto.

"Oh my god! You're old!" Naruto yelled when he realized how old his spouse had to be to be graduated already. "You're like thirteen-ttebayo!"

There was a faint, barely audible growl from Mrs. Uzumaki. Oh yeah, there was something on that one program where all those people got together and talked about their problems about never making comments about a woman's age or her weight. It was bad for some reason.

"Get dressed and ready to be out the door in five minutes!" his spouse ordered before turning and walking out of the room and towards the front room/kitchen/dining area.

"Okay, okay." Naruto grumbled.

And they said that being married was supposed to be fun.

* * *

Sasuke knew he should probably be looking for his brother who had disappeared the night before despite the fact that his mother told him to give his brother time to get used to things. Considering the fact that his Aniki was married to the Uzumaki - and who'd want to be _married_ to the Uzumaki? - he should've realized that things would've been like they had when Keiko had run away from her marriage to Akira on their wedding night when she realized that she really loved the poor musician Shuichi instead, and had only married Akira because of the comfort his money would've provided. But, unfortunately for his search for his wayward brother who was probably disgracing the Clan by living in sin with either Shisui or Izumi right now, he had run into something far more interesting than a love polygon between the Uzumaki who was named after a ramen topping, his Aniki, Shisui and Izumi. He'd run into the old man he'd never been allowed to meet until the wedding. The old man who was so old that his wrinkles had wrinkles who told the most interesting stories, which had really livened up that boring wedding ceremony where the Uzumaki had gotten everything wrong like Everyone in the Academy knew he always did.

"What do you want?" the old man who had officiated at Aniki's wedding ceremony asked.

"Can you tell me a story?" Sasuke asked.

"Are you sick or something Madara?!" the old man whose eyes were milky with cataracts asked, looking stunned, like he was going to have a heart attack like the old Yakuza boss whose son was in love with the barmaid who was really a boy who was trying to avenge his family in disguise.

"You were always telling me to shut the hell up!"

* * *

Naruto frowned as he found his path blocked by a creepy old man with one eye and an arm in bandages. He tried to go around, only to have his path blocked by the old man's walking stick. He was almost certain he'd seen the old man with the iron grey hair and the one dark eye and the X shaped scar somewhere before, but he couldn't remember where.

"So," the man asked, sending an unpleasant shiver down Naruto's spine, "How was your first night as a married man?"

"Boring," Naruto replied, trying to find a way around the man who kept herding him with his stick that wouldn't involve him getting yelled at for jumping on old people. "My Missus made me go to bed early. I was told that something special was supposed to happen on your wedding night, but nothing did."

"I see," the old man said. "It would seem the reports are accurate, and Itachi's honor in this matter is above reproach. Rare for a Uchiha. But, then again, he's always been such a self-sacrificing little boy despite the fact that those he sacrifices himself for do not deserve such consideration."

"Tch, whatever." Naruto replied, wondering who the Itachi person was, but wanting to get to the Academy more than he wanted to find out so he wouldn't be nagged by Mrs. Uzumaki who was apparently one of those nagging wives he'd heard about from the television. The ones whose husbands cheated when they played games because they wanted revenge for the nagging.

"Well, hurry along boy, you'll be late for class." the old man said FINALLY stepping aside.

Naruto started running, not even bothering to look back at the man that all of his instincts were telling him he should never show his back to.

* * *

Wakane Kenichi, who was the latest in the long series of instructors to get the class with the _Uzumaki_ in it was having what had to have been the strangest day of his life, and that included the time he'd been captured by that clan of Cooking-Nin who'd had that Iron Chef battle while they'd been trying to feed him until he was too fat to escape his cell. That morning, he'd gone to get his newspaper and been utterly convinced that his roommate had put a Genjutsu on him while he was asleep as some sort of prank when he'd seen the front page. What other reason would there be for the front page of the local news and gossip rag to be covered in an article about the wedding of Uchiha Itachi to the _Uzumaki_?

When he got to school, things had seemed normal until the _Uzumaki_ had raced in with a minute to spare before the bell and started fielding questions from his classmates about exactly what he was doing there when he was supposed to be on his _honeymoon_. Several of the girls seemed to think the union between the Uchiha and the Kyuubi's vessel was romantic, rather than something that should rightly scare the crap out of everyone.

Things got settled, or about as settled as they could with the _Uzumaki_ in the class, and it was starting to look like an ordinary day despite its rather unusual start. Then, a Uchiha kid from the other class for that year ran in screaming "I won't let you hurt MY Itachi-nii old man!" as he launched himself at the _Uzumaki._

"Who're you calling old man?!" the _Uzumaki_ yelled as he did his best to doge the attacks from the more talented Uchiha, all of those hours spent training the boy when he wasn't in trouble obviously having gone to waste considering the result of said attempts.

"Elder Hibari told me the truth!" the Uchiha boy who was apparently Uchiha Fugaku's other son yelled as he pummeled the _Uzumaki_ who was lamely trying to put up a fight. "You're Senju Hashirama in disguise, and you married my brother to do perverted things to him like all perverted old men do to little boys!"

Okay. What. Seriously, just what.

* * *

Mikoto did her best not to smile as she saw the two boys who were sitting outside the Academy Administration Office very carefully not looking at each-other. There was something so utterly Kushina about Kushina's boy who would be the mirror image of his late mother had his coloration been different. Naturally, with Sasuke being so much Fugaku's boy, the Uzumaki child rubbed him the wrong way and there was conflict. She'd been called because her son and her new son-in-law had gotten into trouble for fighting in class.

"You two haven't really known each-other for more than a day, and you're already fighting." Mikoto said, shaking her head and trying to keep the fond smile off her face as she remembered that rather _interesting_ row between Kushina and her husband that had ended with Kushina the the definite winner and Fugaku wondering what the heck had just happened.

"It's because he's evil mom!" Sasuke yelled. "He's back in Konoha to molest Itachi and destroy our clan like he's been planning since the Founding!"

Oh _...Fudgenuggets_. When had Sasuke found out about the Kyuubi?

"Let's go home you two." she said, very aware of the _look_ she was getting from the Academy receptionist who had been supervising the two boys.

"No!" Sasuke yelled. "Don't bring Hashirama into our house!"

"Hashirama?" Mikoto said as she froze.

"Please don't tell me you've been talking to Elder Hibari, Sasuke." Mikoto said, dreading that that'd been exactly what had happened. The Clan Priest was...Well, frankly old enough to have gone completely gaga from age alone and rumored to have been pants-on-head crazy since long before he'd reached such an august age.

"Elder Hibari?" the receptionist asked.

Mikoto sighed, Elder Hibari had been something of a thorn in her family's side for the past eight years.

"Elder Hibari is a Sensor who's been alive since well before the Founding." Mikoto explained more for her Son's and Son-in-law's benefits. "He started going strange over a decade back when he began accusing various clan members of being Senju. The day we brought Sasuke home from the hospital, he was utterly convinced that he was Madara, and nothing we've said since has managed to convince him otherwise. Apparently, he's decided that Naruto is Senju Hashirama for some reason. Usually, we keep the more impressionable members of the clan away from him in order to prevent incidents like today."

"Oh," the receptionist said, giving both boys a strange look.

* * *

The Sandaime looked up from the Shodai Hokage's crystal ball which had been passed down to him along with the office. He frowned for a second before the memory of a legend he'd read and tried to comfort Orochimaru with popped up.

He snickered briefly as another memory, one that was about sixty years old, returned.

"So, _that's_ what she meant when she said 'Next time, you carry it!'." the Sandaime said before the chuckles started again.

Then, reality intruded.

Having a reincarnated Hashirama back protecting the village was a nice thought, but such things _**just didn't happen**_.

Pity though. It would've been great if it had.

 **Omake:**

Naruto smiled happily, genuinely happily, as Shisui rolled the dice. The best part of being married was that his Missus and his Missus' friends sometimes played games with him. Eventually, an opening presented itself.

"Naruto, why did you move your piece ahead three spaces when you thought I wasn't looking?" his Missus asked.

"I cheated because you're a nag!" Naruto yelled before sticking his tongue out at the Missus.

There was a long pause where nobody did anything, and then suddenly his Missus groaned and buried his face in his hands and Shisui started laughing like a hyena.


End file.
